Tribute to Sandra Weise-Blake aka Jeanie

I never intended to write this blog post, however, I have been very mindful that the last post I wrote was in September/October and I needed to pull my finger out.

Then the question was what I want to blog about then something told me HER

I always counted myself as lucky to have such a large and supported family.
However earlier this year everything changed
Sandra Weise- Blake aka Jeanie, Lee-Anne and Terrys mother, Andy’s wife Rhys, Mathew and Taligh’s Grandmother lost her battle with Cancer on an unseasonably sunny February afternoon.
After my mother broke the news to me in April 2016 and the following appointments to see DR Ben the oncologist at Guy's hospital I knew that she would eventually succumb to cancer, because she was at stage four when she was diagnosed, and words like “prolong life” were often used however my mum with her go down fighting attitude optimistic outlook and larger than life personality had me believing somewhere inside that she would beat it.
“Mums is stubborn she isn’t going until she’s ready” I often thought to myself
Or I can recall telling my youngest nephew “Your Nana is a tough old bird” I
And in a way she didn’t go until she was ready and in a morbid way I remember thinking what a lovely way to die surrounded by family members that loved her.

Of course, I was devastated to lose not only my mother, my best friend, my confidant, moral compass and safety net.
When ever I had any kind of problem or dilemma as did other members of my family and the many friends, employees and acquaintances she had.
Mum was defiantly the matriarch and the lynchpin of the Weise family, the one that would plan most of if not all the family events and day trips and holidays, a lot of which I was reluctant to attend but always had a good time.

I always would have said that she was the best person I knew, and I wanted to be like her when I grew up and I still do.
I often thought about how I would feel losing mum and how I would cope
but nothing could prepare me for how surreal it would be and how quickly time would move. A lot of it feels like a blur to me now.
I remember some of my family member coming around to my flat and having a toast to her life and memory. We shared funny stories about her and supported each other.
I’m blessed to have such a beautiful memory and a reminder that I have some amazing friends and family.
I opted not to write a speech or even read a poem at my mother’s funeral because I felt that our relationship was not for everyone but for some reason right now today it feels right.
We never had anything unsaid to each other, but I would still like to share this brief open letter.

To Mum
Good bad and at times I ugly I saw you, loved you appreciated you and cherished you.
And of course, I Still do

I can’t begin to list the many lessons you taught me times you made me feel good about myself and when I needed it told me about myself.
I will never stop honouring you by being the person you knew I could be and looking out for those you loved the most (even those damn dogs)

While I think about you every day and will always miss you I understand that angels can’t stay here for every and I must be ok with that.
Everything good in or about me is down to you.
Love you

RIP Sandra Weise-Blake aka Jeanie, Nana and Bub

Love Life |Love Health | Love Beauty| Love Creativity 

Lee-Anne x 

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