Advice for me in my 20s

I don’t do regrets because I feel that I have learned from the mistakes in my life but if I had the opportunity to spit some game to my 20-year-old self here are some pearls of wisdom I would like to share.

Credit cards aren’t free money!

Unfortunately, in my twenty’s I was a little bit reckless with my finances in fact I was I was a down right daredevil! Living a lifestyle I could not afford. It took me many years and sacrifice to clean up my credit and I am proud of myself for doing so but it would have been nice for someone to pull me the side and really let me know what the repercussions of my actions would be and the impact they would have on my future

What other people say or think about you really DOESN’T matter
If only I could take back or even better get paid for all the time and energy that has been into people and situations that really don’t matter. Not only was a victim of this type of action I was also a perpetrator of it, discussing peoples lifestyles, banks balances, clothing and personal life’s then having the audacity to be angry if I found out that other people were doing the same things to me.
It all had to stop and I have to say it has been refreshing. I don’t talk about you and if you feel like you need to talk about me that’s fine I guess because I’m way too busy to think about it.

Don’t be in a rush to “grow up”
While talking to my younger cousin she told me that she couldn’t wait to graduate from university and I told her that she should enjoy this time when she has freedom and no bills to pay Your parents… enjoy being young as long as you can! It is so important to get out and live life, have adventures and just enjoy being young. You will never again be as young as you are right now. This truth will continue to apply as you get older. So stop looking to the past or the future and just enjoy the now

Be open to change
I have changed mind about things I wanted, things I hated things I loved and things I didn’t care about so many times over the past decade,  My career path changed and will probably change again. Life is also subject to changes that you cannot control. When I was diagnosed with Lupus within a year my entire life changed, my looks my mobility and my lifestyle. I resisted change for so long and got wrapped up in making my initial plans work. I refused to stop and re-evaluate. The truth was when I stopped resisting, became more flexible and allowed myself to accept my situation and work out the best way to deal with it  I was able to revaluate my short term and long term goals so that they are more attainable.

Think for yourself and form your own opinions
We are bombarded with manipulative messages day in day out. We are given half-truths, exaggerations and misinformation. We must wade through these claims and decide for ourselves what to believe and what is worth our time and energy. We do not need to immerse our minds in a constant barrage of B.S. We can choose to be aware of things that are important to us, find sources that are reliable and trustworthy and shield our attention from the things that are draining.

Accept flaws (yours and others) and learn from them
I strived for perfection most of my early 20s. This was huge a struggle because hello! , no nobody is perfect. I had to learn how to accept my flaws and stop comparing myself to others perceived perfections.  It is healthier to strive to improve on a daily basis and consistently look for ways to personally develop both my strengths and weaknesses so I will always have reason to be proud of myself

Be kind to yourself
My 20’s were full of unkind thoughts and unrealistic expectations which lead to major insecurity masked with makeup, hair weaves and clothes I couldn’t afford. This is still something I am working on now but if I had  I had worked on just being loving myself better in my 20’s I would be much further along in my 30’s. Be your biggest fan, your best friend and supporter you have to believe in yourself when no one else will and be able to pick yourself u when you are down. If you respect yourself and know what you deserve, others will sense that and treat you in kind.

Try new things, even if you’re not good at them
When I look back on my early 20s in particular, I avoided a lot of things out of fear of not being good enough. What I now realize is that it’s okay to not be good at something. It’s okay to ask for help and to admit that you don’t know everything. In fact, that’s how you’ll learn and grow the most. Plus, people will actually respect you more than if you were pretending to have it all figured out.

Meet new people
I socialised and met new people often but it was within the certain circle, we all went to the same clubs or events. It wasn’t until I started to travel more and advance in my career that I started to branch out and make friendships that were based on more than shopping, raving and gossiping. Many of my old friends still move in those circles they felt that they didn’t need or want any more people in their circle and I now see how it has stunted their social and professional progression.  It is so important to continue to meet new people, both for networking and for personal reasons. The act of meeting new people introduces you to new ideas and activities, keeping your mind young. Not to mention, you never know when you or other members of your circle will end up leaving. It helps to have several circles that you are a part of.

Be selective about who you spend your time with
Time waits for no man or woman and you sure as hell can get it back so please do not waste it on people that do not deserve it. Be selective about who you spend your valuable time with. As you get older, your circle will get smaller as you find that some of the people you found to be interesting are not so interesting. This is a part of growing up just make sure to appreciate the friends you do enjoy spending time with.

Let your loved ones know you appreciate them
Tell loved ones how you feel about them every chance you get. My grandfather passed a few years ago and I realised that I knew hardly anything about his life. I now make sure I let my loved ones and friends know that I love them and appreciated them and the things they do for me and to let them know that I am there for them. Don’t ever pass up an opportunity to share your love.

Never stop learning
It is important for you to keep your mind active. Never stop pursuing new knowledge in the areas that interest you. It will also give you interesting things to talk about so that you are not the boring person everyone runs away from at networking events and parties.

Understand that success can be defined differently for different people
For some success is to excel in their chosen career and get paid lots of money, for others it may be travelling the world, owning a home and caring for their children while still others will feel they have achieved their goals when they launch their own business. It is important to know how you define success. What will make you feel most proud and accomplished? Don’t worry about anyone else’s interpretation of success. They are not the ones living with it day in and day out.

Enjoy your time alone

You will reach a point where having time alone will be a rare treat, whether it be because of children, a partner or your job. Treasure those precious moments you have to be alone and enjoy your own company. Enjoy the solitude and use it as a time to pursue your hobbies or to get to know yourself better.

Eat better
I was the Mc Donald’s drive through queen in my early 20’s, a decision I have now come to regret. Yes, I could eat anything I wanted and my metabolism at the time was super-fast and I was very active so it didn’t have an immediate impact on me; however, I became accustomed to high calorie and nutrient deficient foods. It has taken a lot of hard work and willpower to reach a point where I don’t crave fast foods, sweets and unhealthy fried foods… well, I’m trying to get there.

Fall in love with fitness

When I was young I avoided the gym like the plague! Now I wish I had the discipline. I encourage you to experiment with different forms of exercise or play and fall in love with a couple different forms of physical activity. This will keep you healthy well into your 30s and 40s and will make a huge difference in your overall quality of life.

Travel, travel, travel

Go places. See things. Explore. 
Do it now and as often as you can. 
Travelling is an amazing way to expand your mind, learn new things, meet interesting people and open yourself up to new perspectives.

Enjoy your 20’s! 
Try new things, make mistakes, takes risks to fall in and out of love and get to know yourself. Try to save some money and stop smoking.
Oh and 30 is the new twenty so technically you’re a teenager.

What advice would you give to yourself in your 20's
please comment below

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